Forever

Sometimes in life God gives us a wake-up call, a loud circumstance that truly gets our attention and helps us evaluate. I got one of those in early August when I got sick with what I think might have been the worst illness I’ve ever experienced. One night I just didn’t feel right as I was going to bed, and the next thing I knew I was having intense chills and a feeling like all of my body’s organ systems were just completely out of whack. I tried to sleep but had such severe insomnia that I think I only slept one hour that night (and if you know me, you know I usually do not struggle with insomnia). It was like I would shut my eyes, but my brain was wide open and working overtime.

Tom and I both ended up getting tested for Covid-19 that week (he had some symptoms also), and thankfully it was negative. But the intensity in my body and spirit drug on for more days and nights. I was discouraged. I was afraid. It felt like God was trying to bring something to my attention in all this sickness and anxiety about the sickness. Maybe I wasn’t so secure and trusting in my faith like I thought I was. Maybe I wasn’t ready for “whatever could happen.”

I don’t wish an intense difficult time like this for anyone, but I will say that it has brought me closer to God and helped me release more to His control. I’ve heard it said that sometimes in our fear it’s good to just take it to the farthest place it could go. What if xyz did happen? What if the worst you can think of came to be? Would God still be God? Would He still be good? Would His steadfast love still remain? While we don’t want to think about it, the answers are yes, yes and Yes!

We are all made with forever in our hearts. We are made for eternity. This life is not all there is. As a Christian, I know that well in my head. But this has been solidified again in my heart. With all the turmoil in the world, with all the sickness—both in physical bodies and also in spirit and soul, I can trust my eternal God. He never changes. He will always be with me. I can count on Him to be stable, and to guide the way forward, even on my darkest, scariest nights. And Jesus even promises us that we are overcomers in Him. In this world we will have trouble, but we can count on the fact that He has overcome the world (John 16:33), and therefore we can too. The victory belongs to Christ!

So while it’s tempting to just go on with life and all my regular Monday mornings, and forget what God has done and how faithful He is, I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to trudge through the ups and downs. I want to claim that victory. I want to stand for truth and be faithful in my little corner of the world—to live fully, to love boldly, and to persevere in faith. He who calls us and keeps us—forever—is faithful.