For such a time as this

The first cold shower I took here was on our first morning. What a way to wake you up out of jet lag! It was miserable. And actually, it wasn’t because there was anything wrong with the water in the place we were staying. It was my own misunderstanding about how to use the system. Many things are like this. Culture shock is very real, and it often shows up in the most “normal” things that you’re trying to accomplish on any given day. 

I have to confess, the first couple weeks of living in Kenya were not pretty for me. I could not get past the self-centered, what does this mean for me stage. I saw everything as a hardship, as suffering. I was desperately searching for mercy—undeserved kindness—and while God was faithfully providing it, many days I could not see past my discomfort.

I think we all do this sometimes. Our limited perspective causes us to only see what’s right past our nose. We either stuff down the hard stuff until we explode, or we go along lamenting and wondering why things can’t just be a little bit easier, as if that’s on the list of things we “deserve.” So, in my recent experience with this, the answer was to simply be

I think the turnaround for me came when I realized, moment by moment, that God was not going to lighten my load all the sudden or magically poof me back to what I might see as the “easy” life in the United States (which is not actually true). It came when I realized I just needed to be in His presence. I needed to trust His heart. I needed to walk by faith, allowing Him to stretch my faith, seeking Him moment by moment and believing that though I can’t see the whole picture, everything that is happening is part of the work He has begun in me, and in us, and will carry on to completion. (Philippians 1:6) 

We are here in Kenya for such a time as this. We might not always see the good, we might not always think we’re making much of a difference. We walk on, by faith, declaring that we serve an awesome and mighty God. He does everything on purpose. We pray we will be able to affect people’s lives here—not just by humanitarian work–but by the incredible power of the gospel. Christ is able to save. He is saving me, day by day…and not just from cold showers (though I definitely know that hot showers are by His grace alone!), but from a cold, wayward heart.

I often tell my kids when they are missing something or someone back at home, “I know, we just have to trust God.” It’s true. We might hurt in some ways. We might misunderstand things here or be misunderstood as we go about our days. But God is trustworthy, and where He has you, where He has me, it all has purpose. May we have eyes to see His mercy and ears to hear which way to walk, and hands and feet that do His work and glorify Him.

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family! Thank you for following our journey. We are humbled and grateful.

4 responses to “For such a time as this”

  1. Mackie says:

    Love hearing from you all and praying for you as you get adjusted!

  2. Ann says:

    Hey Dillard’s~ Often, the great things we expect Him to do when we are fully committed & obedient will be in others lives, an outward blessing to others… but sometimes, it’s all about what He wants to do in and with our own hearts. He sees you & is faithful to use you as He wills. Blessings on your journey~

  3. Aida and Bryan says:

    What a sweet encouragement! Prayers for your family.

  4. Alan Neely says:

    We received your Merry Christmas letter — and this is my first visit to your blog. It is poignant – real, gritty, big faith being lived out. I will keep your bookmark at my desk to remind me to pray for you. Praying that God will continue to reveal himself in big and small, daily ways. You are no alone. Praying for your kids – education, safety, friends and joy with one another. Praying for a rich, meaningful Christmas in Africa!

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