refining

A zoom-out perspective

Attitude over aptitude. This is of importance when it comes to language learning, and it came to the forefront these past few weeks as we went through some training on how to learn a second language. Maybe it all has to do with perspective. I may not feel I can learn another language, but if I believe I can (and pray a lot), I will be able to do it. If I have the perspective of why I’m doing it–to love the people we’re going to serve–then that might make all the difference.

Maybe a lot of things in life could benefit from some perspective shifting. I’m not talking about simply mind over matter-type stuff, but instead rooting out the things that are swirling around in our minds, exposing them, and then zooming out for the bigger picture of truth.

I’ve learned what a difference that can make as I relate to God. He is teaching me that He is so much bigger. Bigger than the blip of time that is today, bigger than the instant we can finally say, “we have plane tickets to Kenya,” bigger than all that goes on from now to then and everything after that too. When I fix my gaze only on what’s going on around me, I tend to see what’s missing or what’s wrong. I tend to focus on what I don’t understand. When I look at who God is, I see His magnificence, His all-sufficiency, His great faithfulness throughout the ages. I look at Him and my concerns seem to shrink. He made the universe. He holds it all together. When I zoom out and remember this perspective, it is a lot easier to see that the Lord can handle all the problems the world has to offer. He can handle my circumstances. I know He is working it all together for the good of those who love him.

This truth seems so simple, and yet so profound. If only my perspective could shift in everything. How I relate to people, how I pray for people, how I spend my time…eventually how I will learn Swahili 🙂 When I zoom out and get more of God’s perspective, I experience a transformation in my attitude and my heart. Jesus is on the throne. He’s always been there and He always will be. His timing is always perfect. His ways are always good. His love is always sure.

Posted: March 1, 2019
Under: hope, mission, refining
By: Emily

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The gospel changes everything

I now know even more definitively that God’s ways are not our ways! Just when we think we can sort of figure out what He may be doing in our lives, something that just doesn’t make any sense happens. We are nudged once again into a place of complete trust, another stretching of our faith, a humbling place.

There have been many unknowns on our missionary journey thus far. It has been hard, but also good…exciting, and yet really scary. The unknowns right now mainly concern timing. We have been back from Kenya a year and a half now. We’ve gone through many trainings and conferences, which we’ve been so thankful for. We’ve been raising support and met so many amazing people who truly “hold the ropes” for missionaries on the field. We can now say we are almost fully funded, which is a work of the Lord!! A HUGE thank you to all who are faithfully supporting us!

So, we’re ready and we’re willing to go to Kenya. We fully believe that it is God’s will for the next phase of our lives for our family to serve Him in the hospital and community of Tenwek. But we haven’t been released yet.

As many of you know, we’ve been doubly blessed in our time on home assignment. We have been able to be part of the start of an incredible missions-focused pediatric practice here in our hometown. However, under circumstances we could not have foreseen, there has not been another doctor to join the vision there yet. Recently we had an amazing lead, and one who we thought was the perfect candidate for the job. We were so excited! But it turned out that the Lord had other plans for him and his family. We are now back to square one. Sort of.

That’s where we remember that this journey is not ours to begin with. It is God’s. He set it in our hearts to go to Kenya. He got us there in 2017. He continued to lead us in pursuing mission work long term. He got us to where we are today. And none of the details are surprising him now. So, though we are disappointed and a bit confused, we continue to worship the God who has never left His throne.

As missionaries, the gospel is what we’re all about. The good news that our King left heaven to be born of a woman, to relate completely to us. He was tempted in every way on this earth, yet completely without sin. Then he died a grueling death, to atone for our sins, and rose from the dead to conquer sin and death and our flesh forever.

In my flesh, I want to control things. I want to plan things, and every detail should work out exactly how I think it should. Right?! But He keeps teaching me that His grace really is enough. His Word is my daily guide that continually refreshes my perspective. And His life, and death, prove His amazing and steadfast love and care for me, in every detail. For God so loved the world…

Thank you for praying for us. Please keep praying! We would love to see another doctor join Triad Pediatrics very soon, a doctor who truly believes in the mission and vision of the practice. We would love to go back to Kenya very soon as well (in the right time) and continue to serve the Lord in our calling there.

For now, we wait. We rest (more metaphorically than physically—6 kids, remember). And we rejoice in faith, that we can believe even though we do not always see.

Praise JESUS that He is the King. The gospel truly changes everything.

Posted: December 4, 2018
Under: mission, refining, the gospel
By: Emily

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Sowing seeds

This is a time of waiting in more ways than one. I think if we counted, we are waiting on at least 10 practical things to happen before we can get to Kenya. And then there are the heart things. I’m learning that maybe our souls are always waiting. We long for certain things to be different. We long for things to be made right, be made whole. We long for our prayers to be answered. I think that longing and waiting are ok. It is not easy, but it gives us a glimpse of our true longing that God has placed in our hearts, for eternity.

Sowing seeds in the form of love and the gospel is a lifelong pursuit for a believer. It is a lifelong pursuit for a Christian parent. Sometimes there is no fruit to be seen. There is not much evidence of their belief. There is no effort on their part to pursue further truth. But we wait. We wait and we pray and we trust. I’m not very good at that. But God keeps teaching me.

He is reminding me that He created the farmer, the farm, the dirt, and the seeds. I get to play a role on His farm, but He is the One who has all the wisdom, and knows exactly how to bring the good harvest. The role I play in my kids’ lives is important, but the Lord writes their stories. I’m wrestling with that these days. I see small glimpses of hope, but that big picture still sometimes looks pretty bleak on any given day. So I give them over to Him again. I thank Him for each of their unique lives, and for their strong personalities, and for the role we get to play. And I pray and wait some more.

Lord, may you be the author and perfecter of our faith, of each one of our children’s faith. And may I be content and faithful to (imperfectly) sow the seeds, water them, and leave the growth to You alone.

Posted: November 19, 2018
Under: Family, hope, mission, refining
By: Emily

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